pasta my balls

Once when I lived in Paris, I came home intoxicated and decided to make myself some food. Pasta was the obvious choice, and I must say, I mastered the task beautifully. Until it was time to bring the pot over to the table. I tripped on, what I can only assume was nothing, and subsequently dropped all the pasta on the floor. Now, when faced with a conundrum like the one previously mentioned, there are two main options. The first option is to scoop everything off the floor, ignore the starving children, and throw the food away. I barely even hesitated, before going with option number two. I ate the pasta off the floor. With my hands. This got me thinking, why is it a common connotation that one should wash pasta with cold water after having boiled it with hot water? I've heard that makes the pasta more firm. Does that mean pasta works kind of like testicles, in the sense that it expands in a hot environment, and then shrinks in a cold one, thus making it more firm? Before delving further into this topic, I just want to acknowledge the fact that I just ruined pasta for all of you, by comparing it to a man's scrotum. Sorry, my inquisitive self just gets a bit carried away sometimes.

Actually, I don't think I'm going to investigate the matter further. I just felt like ruining pasta for everyone. Please keep spaghetti in mind while you're gobbling away on those spherical divinities. And vice versa, of course.

I have a shoot on sunday. wish me luck.

More pictures

Here are some more pictures from when Charles the Bear celebrated Halloween in New York. Also, I found the best acronym ever while reading about space related things on Wikipedia yesterday: AUSARFCCEUOSPP, also known as the Agreement between the United States of America and the Russian Federation Concerning Cooperation in the Exploration and Use of Outer Space for Peaceful Purposes. Best name ever.

pics: jaeg
like charles a bit

My tips for christmas present of the year.

I don't know if you guys have ever encountered this, but in Sweden, we have something called "Christmas present of the year". I guess it pretty much is what it sounds like. It's a collective decision that a certain object will be the best thing to give people for Christmas. Such a concept makes total sense to me. I mean, it's not like everyone likes different things. It's not like people have different needs and interests. So, I found a list of what "Christmas present of the year" has been, ever since 1988. Here are a few that I think are...questionable.

1988 - A Bread Machine: I got you this product to emphasize the fact that you won't ever need this product. Merry Christmas.
1990 - A Wok: It's a frying pan with slightly more elevated sides. Neat.
1993 - Perfume: Christmas present of the year being a slight insult to someone.
1999- The Bible: Jesus Christ. Literally.
2003 - A Warm Hat: The climax of Sweden's most popular holiday should always be a piece of cloth that goes on someone's head. Always. It also has a wide variety of users, including...all people who have heads.
2005 - A set of poker cards and chips: To show you just how unique you are, and how much I appreciate your genuine self, I've decided to give you the lamest thing ever. Call me when you're in debt to someone.
2008 - An experience: This is the part where everyone started handing out oral sex. To their family members.

In the spirit of this great holiday, I've decided to make my own list of five things that I think should be considered for "Christmas present of the year 2009":

-An electronic appliance that turns itself on automatically when you push the ON-button.
-A Trinidad & Tobago flag.
-A T-shirt that says: "I went to Greece. It was pretty cool. I enjoyed it."
-A Warm hat. Or maybe an experience.
-Mustard.

Me on Ilovephoto.

Ilovephoto put one of my photos up on their backgrounds page. Basically, it means you can download it in high-res for your desktop, background or whatever. I took this picture from the stage at Melt! Festival this year, when Alex brother was kind enough to give us tickets. I think this might be when Boyz Noize played Blue Monday and everyone went completely bonkers. Unfortunately, I don't have a direct link to my image, but if you go on their site and scroll down a bit, you'll find it. There's lots of other great pictures to download as well.

Ilovephoto high res backgrounds

HALLOWEEN WITH HUSTLIN HONEYS

Ghaz: A cat/a bunny/a squirrel or something.
Me: Charles as an intern for Steve Zissou
Jonna: Dirty person from Sweden, currently living in New York

MY BEST BUDDIES HUSTLIN HONEYS

some more pictures

I just got back from Washington DC, and even though my computer is pretty much completely broken by now, I managed to upload some new pictures. Also, the Halloween party at our loft on Saturday should be fun. If you want to stop by, it's on 910 Bedford avenue in Brooklyn. Take the G to Bedford-Nostrand, exit onto Bedford and walk along traffic until you get to 910. If I can get my computer working, there's a good chance you'll get to see Charles the Bear playing some lovely tunes around 9-10 pm. There will be a cover of 3-4 dollars to cover expenses for the two bands, but drinks will be really cheap. Of course, you're allowed to bring your own alchohol if you want to. Anyway, here are some pictures:

pics: robb

soooo gooooooood

Chromeo's new song "Night by Night" is dangerously addictive.
Get it here

New York begins.

Here are a few pictures from my first couple of days in New York. I think there might also be some Berlin in there. Stay tuned for lots and lots more. Great fun, as always. Also, you should try to see The Almighty Defenders live, if you have not seen them. Its a fuse between the bands The Black Lips and King Khan & BBQ. Its a really great show.

pics by: me
charles on facebook

A visit to the hardware store.

We've started preparations for our annual Halloween party. Right now, I'm working on a giant monster mouth, were the bands/djs will be playing, and to do this, I needed primer. Now, I'm not completely sure what primer does exactly, how much it's supposed to cost, and how much I'd need. Therefore, I decided to go to the hardware store and ask. This little visit made realize how much hardware store personnel reminds me of gym personnel, in the sense that both get really offended when someone walks in, who just doesn't know much about the gym/hardware-related things.

When you're in the hardware store, and you don't know how a certain machine/material works, and you ask, they always roll their eyes, as if you can tell how it works, just from looking at it. I'm sorry, but just because you people live and breathe for these things, it doesn't necessarily make them uncomplicated. I mean, it's not like I just walked in with an orange and asked how I'm supposed to eat it. There are 10 000 different liquids that do one thing, and they always come in as many colors and variations. Therefore, this is what might happen when someone like me visits the hardware store.

-Hello, I need to buy primer, please.
-How much, and what are you using it for?
-Well, I'm painting a monster mouth. I haven't really used primer before, so I'm not sure how much I'll need.
-What do you mean, you haven't really used it? Primer is everywhere.
-Uhm...well I guess I just haven't used it before. I'm not sure what to tell you.
-So, I guess you're not used to fixing things yourself. You know, solving problems and such.
-Listen, as far as I can tell, you run a hardware store. Now, I'm guessing that means you're pretty much depending on people buying things from you. Telling me I'm about as independant as a chimpanzee, does not make me want to give you my money. Quite the opposite.
-I'm just saying, plaster is so basic. Everyone knows how to use it.
-Since 50 % of the people in this conversation don't, I'd be pretty confident in saying that's not true.
-But why wouldn't you learn how to use something that can be applied everywhere? It doesn't make any sense.
-Listen, I'm not saying this just to fuck with you. I really don't know how to use it. I don't see why you would get offended, since my ignorance enables your kind to overcharge for a service that I guess people should just perform themselves. I'm not the cause of all evil things in the world, just because I don't know how to use primer.
-It's a good thing there's people in the world who are handy. People that can make things happen.
-Yeah, where would we be without garage doors, three story birdhouses, gas chambers and guillotines.
-A guillo-what?
-Anyway, I see now that 1/4 gallon costs 8 dollars. A whole gallon costs 12 dollars. I don't have to be a lumberjack to realize that buying 1/4 gallon is stupid. I will take 1 gallon of plaster please.
-Alright, good luck to you(You'll need it).
-Thanks(Watch out for rusty nails when you're building yourself a girlfriend).

I'm not dumb. Under main interests, I wouldn't put "shiny things". I just don't know how much primer to buy when I'm building a giant monster mouth for people to party in. I guess my point is, you should come to my party. Not you, hardware store person.

New York Tomorrow

Tomorrow, I will be going to New York. I know, it's pretty sweet. If you don't get to go, don't be jealous. At least I get to go. To prepare myself for all the greatness to be, here are some of my favorite pictures from past visits:

See you soon, you big, fat, destructive, sorry excuse for an apple.

An honorable mention.

pic by: Erik, Hultsfred Festival 2004?

I was mentioned on this cool blog. You should check it out if you like sourced things, like I do. It's pretty sweet. On Wednesday, I'm going to New York for a month, so if you're there, give me a call. I'm off to do some pre-travel laundry, and since I can't seem to find a laundromat in Neukölln, I'm forced to venture far away. I'm not even going to say how far. It's embarassing.

Currently being played a lot on my On-The-Go:

Massive Attack - Splitting The Atom
Kris Menace & Lifelike - Discopolis
Zwicker - Who You Are (Junior Boys version)
Bruce Springsteen - The Wrestler
Jesse Rose - Touch My Horn (Crookers version)
Yazoo - Don't Go
Air & Jean-Jacques Perrey - Cosmic Bird
Röyksopp - Happy Up Here (Breakbot version)
Yazoo - Situation (Hercules & Love Affair version)
Cloud - What You Want (Infiltrators version)
Johnny Flynn & The Sussex Wit- Eyeless in Holloway

cute.

Random Still That I Like Part VIII

Thomas Hoepker

If you've never heard of Thomas Hoepker, have a look at his website. Obviously, since he's with Magnum, he's pretty established already. If I turn out to be half as good as this, I'd be thrilled.

Thomas Hoepker

JÄÄ

pics: robbz

The most amazing thing ever. EVER.

Amazing track from 1997

pic: yess

They wrote a little something about me on this nice blog. Now, I'm off to see Knut the polar bear for Niclas birthday. Happy birthday, freund. While I'm gone, listen to this amazing song from 1997. Also, I'm going to be in New York in 8 days. Ace.

How to know if people will be terrible parents.

I guess all actions might as well be considered maneuvers. Or called maneuvers, at least. I'm fairly certain that your ability to maneuver certain situations, would be a certified way of juding if you are good at life or not. To me, that's what being "cool", or good at life in general, is all about. Always being able to maneuver. It doesn't necessarily mean you can maneuver every single scenario in the world, it simply means you never get yourself into a situation that you can't handle. Makes perfect sense. Always staying on top of things, means you are good at life. Now, some people are not very good at maneuvering, thus they are not very good at life. Why does it feel like those people always have children? Those people should not have children. In fact, there are a number of easy ways to spot people that should never spawn, or shouldn't have spawned any offspring. These are generally horrible parents:

-People who jaywalk with their strollers: This has to be the most egoistic thing one can possibly do. How would you feel if a car came along and hit only your stroller, and not you? You probably wouldn't care, since you're the self-centred anti-christ of parents, but still. From an objective standpoint, that scenario would be unfortunate.
-People who live on Manhattan: It can be hard teaching a child proper moral values, if you've never paid your own rent.
-People who are religious: It can be hard teaching a child proper moral values, if your whole life is dedicated to serving something that might not even exist. And if it does exist, it most likely hates us. Avidly. I guess God can be compared to the cutest girl in school. No matter how hard you try, she doesn't see you. You buy her things, you get into fights over her, you do all her work for her, and she never recognizes your efforts. But somehow, there's a tiny part of you that still thinks you'll get to sleep with her if you try hard enough. That she's just testing you. She's not. She just doesn't like you.
-People who bring their kids to restaurants: Kids do not like restaurants. It really is not that complicated. Just don't bring them places they don't want to be. They'll cause a scene. It's like throwing your dog into a bag of fleas, and then tell him to sit still.
-People who are French: You have been unpleasant for centuries. You're the kid that everyone pretends to like, because he has cool clothes and is not excited about anything.
-People who decide it's a good idea to give Barack Obama the Nobel Peace Prize: Naturally, I have to ask. Where did Barack create peace? Shouldn't a prize be awarded due to result, rather than ambition? Actually, I think we should just give all future olympic gold medals to Germany, because they entered the competition with the intention of winning. Not because they actually won.
-People who have an abortion: Well, duh. Also, it must be horrible being a sperm in that equation. I mean, imagine running a race with like 10 000 other people, and somehow, you miraculously manage to win the entire race. You're number one. Then, after having sprinted for two or three weeks straight, and you've finally reached the finish-line, the main sponsor tells you the race has been terminated.

These people should never be allowed to have their own children. And if they already do, these children should be taken away from them. Right now.

BLÄ

These are some pictures from a recent roll I developed. It includes roof-climbing, people cutting my hair while being drunk(meaning I had to do it again the next morning), and finally proving to people that our shower actually is in our kitchen. It's true.

pics: sometimes